Spoiler Alert! This Is The End

This movie is hilarious. I enjoyed almost every part of it and I think Rogen did a great job. It's funny and interesting to see how all of the actors play caricatures of themselves. There were a few issues that I had as I do with pretty much every movie, so here we go. Pros and cons time.

Pros

1. "Gluten is a vague term to describe things that are bad for you" I found this one line incredibly funny.
2. Michael Cera is a character actor and this might be the farthest I've seen him stray from that awkward teenager role. This is the most acting that he has ever had to do.
3. The Exorcism of Jonah Hill scene was really funny and offered a comedic spin on possession movies.
4. Great chemistry between the actors, because they're all actually friends, made the jokes that much funnier for me. 
5. Even though the joke was in the trailer from the beginning, I still think that Emma Watson showing up and stealing everything that the guys have was funny.

Cons

1. I just didn't find most of the parts with Danny McBride funny. I felt like he was forcing it and his character was very predictable. I did like his bit towards the end though with Channing Tatum. That was good but other than that, he was ehhh.
2. The movie was really funny at times and then I sometimes just felt kind of bored. Then it would bring me back and then it would level out again. The whole movie was a roller coaster of hilarious and dragging on.
3. There were a few surprises here and there but other than that, it was incredibly predictable. Like really all they had to do to make it to heaven was sacrifice themselves which may seem like a lot to ask but once Craig Robinson did it, you can safely assume that sacrificing yourself will get you in. And after James Franco almost made it, I wasn't remotely worried when Seth was hanging onto Jay and made the decision to sacrifice himself and let Jay go to heaven.
4. I think they spent too much time just hanging out at Franco's waiting to be saved. They should've moved into the whole rapture plot faster than just sitting around.
5. Jonah Hill being all nice to Jay was funny for a bit but then it just got annoying. 

Spoiler Alert! World War Z

I like World War Z. I really do. I generally like zombie movies and I thought this one was very well put together. I liked Brad Pitt. I liked the storyline. It was fairly predictable at times but it's hard to not be so I can overlook that. For example, as soon as I found out that nobody scientist guy was going off with Brad to Korea, I knew he wasn't going to last long and lo and behold, he doesn't even make it off the plane. But, whatever. I really liked this movie and I only have two complaints. One just questioning the reality in which the movie takes place and one concerning the plot.

Where are all the fat asses? I'm not talking about the mildly overweight. I'm saying serious obesity. Recent studies have shown obesity rates in Philadelphia to be over 30% among adults yet when Brad Pitt and family are driving through the streets of Philly in a stolen RV trying to escape the oncoming horde, I failed to see a single fat person. Granted, I wasn't actively looking for any but come on, I think we would notice at least one fat zombie especially when being overweight definitely wouldn't put you at the top of the list of survivors when surviving requires outrunning a horde of zombies. Maybe obesity isn't a problem anymore when this takes place.

This brings up another question I have. Let's say, and this is a very liberal estimate, that roughly 50% of adults in Philadelphia exercise regularly and are in excellent shape. Why can all of the zombies run for long periods of time and jump like olympians? Does the virus or whatever is causing the zombie outbreak generate muscle tissue? Because in what little knowledge on the subject of symbiotic relationships that I have, the nature of this outbreak appears to be more parasitic than mutualistic. I reason this because the virus reduces the cognitive abilities of those infected to levels associated with animal cognition unless of course you can argue that lowered cognitive function and a small amount of muscle growth is beneficial to humanity.

My last complaint is about the plot. The whole movie is very suspenseful. Will Brad Pitt get out of Philly? Will his family get to the roof of the apartment building? Was he infected in the stairwell? etc. But when the time for suspense came, I didn't find any. Brad is sitting in Vault 139 with all of those deadly diseases and a zombie waiting right at the door. So he infects himself and walks right out and we all know that he'll be fine and that the zombies will avoid him. The whole movie is stressful except for what I was assuming was the climax, but it wasn't climactic. I would've gone with at least a dozen zombies trying to get into the vault and slowly prying open the door. He's rushing to find a virus to inject himself with and doesn't know which one. It makes it more panicked and random and he's able to inject himself but the zombies have just gotten in and they run and tackle him. There's lots of the weird noises that the zombies make and then they get off of him because they "smell" that he is an unhealthy host. Then he can walk right out. It's still predictable but at least it keeps with the same tone of suspense as the rest of the film.

Still, I thought World War Z was really good and I liked how they actually used the word "zombie" unlike so many other zombie related shows/movies e.g. The Walking Dead or Dawn of the Dead. So good job, World War Z.

Philadelphia Obesity

Spoiler Alert! Star Trek Into Darkness

I love Star Trek Into Darkness. This is already my favorite movie of 2013. I'm calling it now. It's better than the previous film and it's amazing in so many ways. I usually just complain but here is everything I loved about Star Trek Into Darkness.

1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is undoubtedly the best Star Trek movie to date. People have called Into Darkness pandering to the fans of Wrath of Khan and let me just say if that's how they're gonna pander then keep it up. It had similar themes as Wrath of Khan and many parallels yet it managed to remain separate and become its own movie.
2. Benedict Cumberbatch is brilliant as Khan. He's cold, ruthless, and willing to do anything to protect his crew. He's perfect for the role. I'm not saying he's better than Ricardo Montalban. They both were amazing and brought excellence to Khan. Comparing the two is like comparing Heath Ledger and Jack Nicholson's Jokers. They're the same character but different. 
3. Also, great way to bring Khan into the story since in the original timeline, Khan isn't found until Kirk finds the Botany Bay adrift during his 5 year mission.
4. Speaking of 5 year missions. I thought it was great how that's what Kirk was hoping to do in Into Darkness.
5. I'm so glad that the Klingons were in this movie and that they had ridged foreheads. 
6. Carol Marcus. Alice Eve is hot and if you've seen Wrath of Khan then you know that Carol Marcus is the mother of Kirk's son, David. It didn't even bother me that she has a British accent while her dad, Admiral Marcus, has an American accent. Ok, maybe it did a little.
7. Tribbles.
8. I shed a few tears when I heard that the warp coils weren't aligned because that's when I knew Kirk was going to sacrifice himself just as Spock did in 1982. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.
9. Ultimate bromance 

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Star Trek Into Darkness

 
    10.  McCoy's metaphors. "You don't rob a bank when the getaway car has a flat tire" "You just sat that man down at a high stakes poker game with no cards and told him to bluff"

    11. No Ceti eels. This Chekov should consider himself lucky cause those things are terrifying.

                                         The most terrifying thing you'll ever see

There were 2 things that I felt could've been left out and these are more stylistic than relevant to the movie.

1. The warp trail. It just looks silly and out of place.
2. Lens flares. This is a JJ Abrams classic so I guess I'll put up with it.

I have been and always shall be your friend.

Spoiler Alert! Man of Steel

I really liked this movie. It was an origin story but it seemed new at the same time. Henry Cavill was great as both Clark Kent and Superman. Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan did a great job with Superman. Even though I liked this movie, I have so many questions.

1. Why, in this super advanced society, does Jor- El ride one of the dragon things from Avatar?
2.  Jor-El is a scientist. How is he able to beat General Zod in hand-to-hand combat?
3. If Jor-El can beat him so easily, why is it so hard for Superman to beat him even though Zod is like 30 years older than him?
4. How does Superman steal that Kryptonian ship from under the ice and get away with it?
5. Shouldn't the military be able to find him with satellites since they can see Zod's ship hanging out by the moon?
6. Why was it so easy for Lois to find out that Superman is Clark Kent?
7. Did anyone survive that fight in Smallville? Those people ran inside off the main street but then almost all of those buildings were destroyed.
8. Did pretty much everyone in Metropolis die? About a quarter of the city is destroyed by the terra-forming machine and then Zod and Superman destroy a large number of buildings while fighting.
9. Why does Superman keep the fight in Metropolis? Zod just wants to kill him. He could easily move the fight over to a less populated area.
10. How does Lois Lane show up to every part of town where Zod and Superman are fighting? First they're fighting over here and then they end up at Grand Central Station and hey look Lois walks in the door.
11. Why was Michael Shannon cast? I just don't understand him as Zod. Terrance Stamp as Zod in Superman II was cold, emotionless, calculating. I felt like I was watching Michael Shannon throw a temper tantrum the whole time.
12. The machine in Metropolis and the machine in the Indian Ocean are connected. Why does Superman go to the middle of the Indian Ocean to stop the machine there when he could go to Metropolis and stop it there, saving thousands of lives? 
13. Why was Laurence Fishburne wasted? Yeah, he's awesome but as Perry White, he did nothing.
14. Why are all LexCorp trucks highly explosive?
15. Why doesn't Kevin Costner just let Clark go back for the dog? He wouldn't even have to do any sort of incredible feat of strength. 
16. Why does Superman leave a jet trail when he flies fast? He isn't propelled by any sort of engine so there wouldn't be a jet trail.
17. When Clark leaves that boat to go save the people on the oil rig about a half mile away, where do the people on the boat think he went? 
18. That one Kryptonian ship had been on earth for 20,000 years. Assuming Kryptonians live even 10x as long as humans, how did Jor-El send it there? 
19. Why did he put a suit with his family crest on it in the ship? The ship was sent out before Clark was even born.
20. If Jor-El's family crest means hope, what does Zod's crest stand for? Probably asshole.
21. Who is Clark pretending to be when he has the red cape on as a kid?

Despite all that though, I really liked it and I'm really looking forward to seeing more of Henry Cavill as the man of steel. I think we definitely will see more of Cavill through a sequel or even a possible Justice League movie. This was hinted when he learned that Man of Steel exists in a shared universe through the use of a Wayne Enterprises satellite.

Seriously, why didn't Superman try to move the fight somewhere else? Damage Report

Spoiler Alert! The Purge

I recently saw the movie, The Purge and let me start by saying, I wish I could purge the memory of seeing this movie from my mind. It started out slow and then didn't pick up pace until the movie was almost over. I have some major problems with the story and characters of this movie that I just can't get over. So here we go. The major things I had a problem with in the The Purge.

1. First off, super predictable movie. They make the resentment from the neighbors so obvious that we all know that they will eventually try to "purge" Ethan Hawke's family. Also predictable was that the daughter's boyfriend wants to "talk" to the disapproving father on the one night that murder is legal. Yeah I'm calling bullshit on that one. He's there to kill Ethan Hawke.

2. The children have no redeemable qualities. They're stupid and make terrible life decisions. The boy lets a stranger into his house as a supposed good deed but the resulting chain of events lead to the deaths of at least a dozen people including his father. Good job, kid. I don't know who's dumber, the boy for letting a stranger into his house, and I'll say this again, ON THE ONE NIGHT THAT MURDER IS LEGAL, or Ethan Hawke for trusting his dumbass kid with the code to their home security system. Then there's the girl. She knowingly runs throughout the house while A- the power is out, B- there's a random homeless dude wandering about inside, C- her family has been threatened, and D- she knows that her family is gathered in that one room upstairs. The only good thing she does in this movie is kill the lead, creepy, preppy looking,  douchebag in what is perhaps the least climactic death I've ever seen.

3. On 4 separate occasions, at least 1 member of this stupid family is about to be killed by someone, but then miraculously, the assailant is brutally shot to death. Once, ok that's cool. Twice, yeah slightly coincidental. Three times, this is ridiculous. Four times, I give up.

4. This is my biggest problem with the movie and if this stupid family had done this, maybe Ethan Hawke wouldn't have died. So they have the homeless guy captured and they're about to turn him over but instead Ethan Hawke has a change of heart and decides that they're going to fight instead. So he takes Lena Headey over to the arsenal and they dual wield some pistols to fight. But wait, the homeless guy is still tied up... I'm sure he'd like to fight back as well. Why not give him a gun and have him help out? Because that would make too much sense.

5. Lena Headey is badass. She's the queen from 300. She played Sarah Connor in that one Terminator show and she's Cersei in Game of Thrones. In The Purge, she sucks. She can't even hold onto her guns and she doesn't kill a single person. She should've had a much stronger character and role in the movie.

All in all, this movie is entertaining if you don't look into it too much. It was marketed as more of a horror movie but it is definitely not that.

Bonus
1. Despite growing populations, The Purge would never happen because every other nation would take action as a result of the blatant human rights violations.

2. The Purge starts at 7pm and continues until 7am. Does this mean that The Purge is a rolling phenomenon with time zones or does every time zone start at the same time 7pm Pacific Standard Time, 10pm Eastern Standard Time?

Exposition

I love movies. I love almost everything about them- the actors, costuming, cinematography, etc. There's just a certain magic involved with taking a story and sharing it with an audience through a visual medium and I feel that this movie magic adds to our culture and society in a way that is near impossible to replicate.

Having said that, there are some movies that I just hate. There are plenty of movies that I cannot stand watching and that in my opinion, should never have been made. Keep in mind, that I like complaining and that this is all just my thoughts. You may disagree with some of the things I say but in all honesty, I really don't care. You have your views and I have mine.